Everybody has moments in their lives where they think, if I could go back in time to that exact moment, I would do things differently. The problem with that idea is that it is only ever possible, with the benefit of hindsight. Nobody can say whether a decision will be good or bad, until it is already too late (although some decisions are clearly better thought out than others). It is only after the fact that we can sit down and assess the millions of little moments that make up who we are and consider which ones we wish we could change. But it is always an exercise in futility. The truth is we need to take the good with the bad, for that is the only way we can learn and grow as people.
We often focus on what we might consider the ‘big’ moments, those life altering decisions that send our grand trajectory in one way or another. And so we often overlook the little things, date nights missed, phone calls ignored, those little words left unsaid. It is in these little missed seconds where tonight I find my biggest regrets.
I wish I had said no to going out with friends more, and spent those nights lying in bed with you watching shit on Netflix. I wish I’d mocked you less and spent more time telling you how beautiful you are, something I never said enough. I wish I’d spent more time appreciating all the little quirks and peculiarities which make you who you are, I miss them now. I wish I’d appreciated you more.
I have many big little regrets. But we must learn from our mistakes. I hope if you ever find this letter, that you are loved by someone who has already learned from theirs, because you deserve the world. Never settle for less.